7 Steps to help a Young Person come back to the Church
Often, I hear from parents, “My child has left the Faith, and I’m devastated. What should I do?”
What they most need is a plan, a proven road map.
But here are seven simple strategies you can use to draw your child back. These steps can take months or years to complete.
1. Pray, fast, and sacrifice
Commit right now to praying 5-10 minutes each day for your child’s return. Jesus’ parable of the persistent widow (Lk 18:1-8) confirms that God loves tireless prayer — even if you pray for the same need every day. Don’t give up, and don’t think your prayer is unheeded or pointless. Look at what St. Monica’s prayers did for St. Augustine.
Skip a meal, or better, give up Facebook or Netflix for a week, or willingly bear a small pain. Then offer your sufferings to God on behalf of your child. Unite them to the cross and ask that he send new grace into your child’s life.
2. Equip yourself
You can’t give what you don’t have. You may be excited about sharing the Faith, but enthusiasm and goodwill won’t get you far. You need to know your faith. The two go-to sources are the Bible and the catechism.
3. Plant the seeds
You should also begin planting “seed gifts” in his life. Leave a booklet on his desk, mail him a DVD, or drop a CD in his car. One seed is unconditional love. He must know that you totally will his good. Only then will he listen to you.
4. Start the conversation
At some point, you need to open a dialogue about God and the Church. You might say, “Can I ask you something? I wonder if you’d be up for talking about spiritual things sometime. I know you have a mixed relationship with the Church, but would you be open to chatting about it with me? I simply want to listen.”
Then do just that: listen. Don’t respond to the objections or criticisms just yet.
5. Move the dialogue forward
You’ve now identified why your child left the Church. Maybe he drifted away unintentionally. Maybe he disagrees with the Church’s moral teachings. Or maybe he no longer believes in God. Whatever the case, now’s the time to start discussing those factors.
Speak with joy and positivity.
6. Invite and connect
Once your child expresses curiosity and openness to returning, invite him to a weekend retreat, or perhaps a small-group study. Your goal is to re-establish the communal bonds of faith.
Only extend these invitations after he’s expressed openness to returning, otherwise you may push him away.
7. Close the loop
Finally, you need to help your child formally reconcile with the Church. Lots of people get stuck here, they simply do not know how to come back.
The key is to never give up hope. Hopelessness is not a word in God’s vocabulary. As long as your child still has breath, there is always hope. God loves your child even more than you do.
Some excerpts from Brandon Vogt