Sep 14 Sun - What is the essence of being a Christian?

 

Sep 14 Sun
What is the essence of being a Christian?
To be a Christian means being united to Christ, Christ on the Cross.
To co-redeem with Christ, we have to be united to our Lord on the Cross, and not avoid sacrifices in daily life.

St. Josemaría wrote: “Being a Christian is not simply a way to personal gratification; it implies a mission... Being a Christian is not something secondary; it is a divine reality that takes root deep in our lives. It gives us a clear vision and strengthens our will to act as God wants.

“So, we learn that the Christian's pilgrimage in the world must express itself in continuous service in all kinds of ways, varying with each person's circumstances, but always motivated by love for God and our neighbor.

“Being a Christian means forgetting petty objectives of personal prestige and ambition and even possibly dignified aims, like philanthropy and compassion for the misfortunes of others. It means setting our mind and heart on reaching the fullness of love which Jesus Christ showed by dying for us."

“Let me give you an example of the kind of attitude that develops if one is unable to penetrate this mystery of Jesus. Some people tend to see Christianity as a collection of devout practices, failing to realize the relation between them and the circumstances of ordinary life, including the urgency to meet the needs of other people and remedy injustice.

I would say that anyone who has that attitude has not yet understood the meaning of the Incarnation. The Son of God has taken the body and soul and voice of man; He has shared our fate, even to the extent of experiencing the excruciating anguish of death. Yet perhaps without wanting to, some people regard Christ as a stranger in the world of man."

“Others tend to imagine that to remain human, we need to play down some central aspects of Christian dogma. They act as if the life of prayer, the continual relationship with God, implied fleeing from responsibilities and leaving the world. But they forget that it was none other than Jesus who showed us the extreme to which we should go in love and service. Only if we try to understand the mystery of God's love - a love which went as far as death - will we be able to give ourselves totally to others and not let ourselves be overcome by difficulties or indifference."

The path to becoming a true Christian is that of the Cross. We are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. There is no other way.

Christ, the principal heir, attained the inheritance of glory by his Passion. "Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer and so enter into his glory?" We cannot hope to attain the same inheritance more easily. We, too, must reach it through suffering; we must not seek ourselves.

Sep 13 Sat - What should we give, bread or the Word?

 

Sep 13 Sat
What should we give, bread or the Word?
Addressing an assembly of priests, Mother Teresa asked them: “Give us Christ; only Christ; always Christ!” 

In the same line, during a recent “Address to the Participants in the Social Week of Peru,” Pope Leo made some observations well worth noting: “Let us understand that all social action of the Church must have as its center and goal the proclamation of the Gospel of Christ, so that, without neglecting the immediate, we always remain aware of the proper and ultimate direction of our service. For if we do not give Christ in His entirety, we will always be giving extremely little.”

That’s already a very useful clarification. But he added: “It is not two loves, but rather one and the same love, that moves us to give both material bread and the bread of the Word that, in turn, by itself, will give rise to hunger for the Bread of Heaven, which only the Church can give, by the mandate and will of Christ, and which no human institution, however well-intentioned it may be, can replace.

This Christocentric vision of our faith is not only the Church’s spiritual life but is indispensable for her charitable work.

The Church’s charitable work is always “extremely little” compared to the real mission of our faith: salvation.

Millions have benefited from the Church's generosity, and this work is invaluable. However, if we truly believe the Nicene Creed, it’s extremely little compared to eternity. The Holy Father’s words should be a call to reexamine how the Church understands her mission in society as a leaven for the common good.

The common good is not just material well-being: food, shelter, jobs, physical and mental health, and so forth. All of this is good and should be part of the mission of the Church as an agent of charity. And yet our eternal destiny is still more relevant. 

To intentionally ignore the salvific purpose of the Church’s work is a failure to advance the Church’s essential mission.

The purpose of the Church is the glorification of God, the continuation of Christ's saving work, thus, the sanctification of humanity, and the establishment of communion with God, first our own, and then to aid others on their own path. 

The Church is not simply an NGO. She is the mystical body of Christ. She gives bread to sustain the body, but, more importantly, she is the source of the Bread of Eternal Life, the Bread of Heaven.

Advocating for religious liberty, for charitable services, social justice, and even the pro-life work of the Church is all extremely little if not tied to the salvific mission of the Church.

I think that the Church’s charitable work and public advocacy must be more explicitly connected to the proclamation of the Gospel of Christ.

For if we do not give Christ in His entirety, we will always be giving extremely little. 

Sep 12 Fri - Should I live a simple, ordinary life?

 

Sep 12 Fri
Should I live a simple, ordinary life?
As that of any Christian, “the spirit of Opus Dei is simple and genuine, based on Sacred Scripture, which is inspired by God, who is infinitely simple and Truth itself." Thus, we must live with sincerity and simplicity, and reject pretense. 

Our dedication should have the naturalness and simplicity of souls who are unconditionally committed to fulfilling God's will. We live amid the world's activities, practicing a profession not as a tactic, but because it is our chosen place in life. Ours is a call to seek the fullness of Christian life where we are, in our work, most likely the same job we had before we decided to follow Jesus closely.

We do not need to go into the world, since we have never left it; there, God called us, and there, we remain. “A man of faith who practices a profession, whether intellectual, technical, or manual, feels himself and is in fact at the same level with others; he is the same as others, with the same rights and obligations, the same desire to improve, the same interest in facing and solving common problems."

“The Catholic living in this way will, through his daily life, give a proof of his faith, hope, and charity: a simple and normal testimony without need of pomp and circumstance.” He will make the Church present in the world, since all Catholics are themselves the Church, members of the People of God.

Look at the naturalness of the early Christians. Our life should be as simple as theirs. Its oddness should be that it is not odd. We strive to live by our faith, without affectation of any kind. Our way of life is open to all.

Above all, our interior life should be simple. Without any pretense, we raise our hearts to God like little children.

In all our dealings with God, we must avoid formality. Piety indeed has its own good manners, especially in the liturgy, but respect and reverence are no reason for coldness or affectation. We put our whole heart into the Norms of piety. St. Josemaría wrote, "I don't like to use the word ‘observance’ when speaking about fulfilling our duties of piety. You already know my criteria for private devotions. If they are long, they should be avoided. And if they are short, they should be few and constant.”

And he urged us to be simple in the way we treat our Lord: Go to the oratory, and say to Jesus: "I abandon myself in your arms.” Leave everything you have - your wretchedness - at his feet. Thus, despite the jumble of things you carry along behind you, you will never lose your peace.

In our ascetical struggle, we need to see ourselves as we really are. We need to accept our own limitations and realize that God sees them all and takes them into account. We should not be dismayed at our weakness, since it leads us to lean humbly in God's hands.

Sep 11 Thu - Why are there several readings in the Mass?

 

Sep 11 Thu
Why are there several readings in the Mass?
The Readings from Scripture are arranged in the following order:
• First Reading
• Responsorial Psalm
• Second Reading (only on Sundays and greater celebrations)
• Gospel Acclamation (Alleluia or another chant)
• Gospel

And after these come the:
• Homily
• Profession of Faith (Creed)
• General Intercessions (Prayer of the Faithful)

These elements develop the liturgy of the word, and with them, the first part of the Mass concludes.

In the readings from the Scripture, God speaks to his people. These readings are explained with the homily. Through the chants, the people make God’s word their own. Through the Profession of Faith, they affirm their adherence to it. Finally, having been nourished by this word, they make their petitions in the general intercessions for the needs of the Church and for the salvation of the whole world.

By following a plan of readings through the year, the treasures of the Bible become fully accessible to the faithful.

If we want to know why there are readings in the Mass, we would have to delve into the most ancient of Christian customs. In fact, we would have to go even beyond them to practices dear to the heart of devout Israel. The service of the Jewish synagogue had such readings from the Law and the Prophets. Have we not seen Jesus reading Isaiah to his fellow Jews? And did not St Paul, while on his missionary journeys, take part in similar readings?

The early Church faithfully preserved this custom. In bygone days, these readings had been chosen by the bishop, who also determined their number and length. When he thought that a lesson had lasted long enough, he stopped the reader by saying, “Deo gratias” (Thanks be to God). Other lessons followed until the bishop saw fit to end them.

At a fairly early date, however, the standard number of lessons was fixed at three: the first from the Old Testament, called “the prophecy;” the second from that part of the New Testament which contains the writings of the apostles (this was called “the apostle” or “the epistle”); and lastly, a reading from the Gospel.

As in other times when people sat around Jesus, we also sit down now to listen to him speaking through the prophets and the apostles. We choose this bodily position because it seems the most fitting for reflection. As good disciples of the Master, we want to listen with peace and serenity, imitating our Blessed Mother, pondering them in our hearts.

If we do our best, the Holy Spirit will give us enough capacity to grasp whatever we may need for our sanctification and mission in life. And even if what we have read does not stay in our memory, the word of God has purified and nourished our souls.

At the end of the reading, the reader reminds us that what we have just heard is God’s word. The people then answer, “Thanks be to God.”

Sep 10 Wed - If necessary, should I be strong enough to make unpopular decisions?

 

Sep 10 Wed
If necessary, should I be strong enough to make unpopular decisions?
Last week, Pope Leo answered the question with the image of the “narrow gate,” which Jesus uses in his answer to someone who asks him if only a few will be saved.

At first glance, this image can make us think: if God is the Father of love and mercy, who always stands with open arms to welcome us, why does Jesus say that the gate of salvation is narrow?

Certainly, the Lord does not want to discourage us. Rather, his words are meant primarily to challenge the presumption of those people who think they are already saved, who perform religious acts, and feel that is all that is needed.  They are not aware that unless they change their hearts, it is not enough to perform religious acts. The Lord does not want worship detached from life. He is not pleased with sacrifices and prayers, unless they lead to greater love for others and justice for our brothers and sisters. For this reason, when such people come before the Lord boasting that they ate and drank with him and heard him teaching in their streets, they will hear him reply: “I do not know where you come from; go away from me, all you evildoers!”

Jesus tells us that it is not enough to profess the faith with words, to eat and drink with him by celebrating the Eucharist, or to have a good knowledge of Christian doctrine. Our faith is authentic when it embraces our whole life, when it becomes the guideline for our decisions, when it makes us people committed to doing what is right and who take risks out of love, even as Jesus did.

Jesus did not choose the easy path of success or power; instead, to save us, He loved us to the point of walking through the “narrow gate” of the Cross. Jesus is the true measure of our faith; He is the gate through which we must pass to be saved by experiencing his love and by working, in our daily lives, to promote justice and peace.

There are times when this involves making difficult and unpopular decisions, resisting our selfish inclinations, placing ourselves at the service of others, and persevering in doing what is right when the logic of evil seems to prevail.

Once we cross that threshold, however, we will discover that life flourishes anew. From that moment on, we will enter into the immense heart of God and the joy of the eternal banquet that he has prepared for us.

Let us ask the Virgin Mary to help us find the courage to pass through the “narrow gate” of the Gospel, so that we may open ourselves with joy to the wide embrace of God our loving Father.

Sep 9 Tue - Should I accept suffering?

 

Sep 9 Tue
Should I accept suffering?
While some people think of Stoicism as a “cult of suffering,” that’s far from true, if you think of “cult” as worship or love of suffering for its own sake. The Stoics were concerned with peace of mind, which called for accepting suffering as part of our “fate” and part of the way we build necessary virtues. They accepted suffering, yet didn’t love to suffer, and that acceptance, they claimed, contributes to one’s peace of mind.

The gods of the Stoics were made of matter, like us. They believed that the suffering we endure is sent or permitted by the gods for our own sake; our mistake comes in thinking it’s an evil, and this destroys our peace.

What Stoicism lacked was an eternal and spiritual meaning to our suffering in this life. With no afterlife, suffering might help us be more virtuous in this life, but it could not lead to spiritual salvation and resurrection of the body.

St. Augustine particularly criticized the Stoics for their approval and even admiration of suicide. Catholic Christianity offered a better way to a true and final peace of mind.

In our day, Stoic resignation appeals to many who, lacking faith, have no hope of the great gifts of Christian surrender. Reading St. Augustine, especially his Confessions and seeing his guilt for his sins later transformed into faith, hope, and love, might help them open themselves to those gifts.

In the City of God, for Augustine, that city consists of the saints in Heaven and those whose earthly pilgrimage is still underway. These are the souls who have turned to God, worshipping and adoring Him.

By contrast, the Earthly City, sometimes called the city of man, is made of those who love themselves and orient their lives and choices accordingly, unconcerned with the divine.

The two cities on earth are intermixed. Earthly political communities – cities – host a mingling of the City of God and the Earthly City.

Thus, in this life, there is no barrier between the two cities, though there is a disconnection between eternity and time. And no political force, not even a Roman emperor, could breach the gap. Only God incarnate could, as He crossed the chasm to us.

Both cities have peace as their aim. The City of God has it in Heaven, and is moving towards it on earth: the final peace. The city of man also wants peace, if only to enjoy the temporal goods it prefers while despising the divine.

We are fortunate, says Augustine, if we live in a time and place where we can enjoy earthly peace.

But all of our attempts at progress will never make the earthly city into the City of God on earth. That making of all things new will only be complete at the end of time, through God’s choice, not our will. And while our efforts to improve our condition and reduce suffering for those around us are essential, our demand for earthly perfection is futile and even dangerous: it is not the end.

Sep 8 Mon - Today we celebrate the birthday of the Blessed Virgin

 Sep 8 Mon
“Today we celebrate the birthday of the Blessed Virgin. It is a good day to live our Marian piety naturally, without doing anything strange. When the birthday of someone in your family comes up, you wish them a happy birthday, right? You try to show them greater affection, don't you? Well, let's begin by doing so. Wish the Mother of God, who is also our Mother, a happy birthday. And our Lady, who is in heaven body and soul, will joyfully welcome our signs of affection."

The Virgin Mary is the most perfect creature who ever came from the hands of God. She is so good, so simple, so delicate, so extraordinarily humble and pure that one cannot help loving her.

Her contemporaries hardly noticed her stay in the world. It is the same with our own lives; there is nothing extraordinary, nothing that attracts attention. But in the eyes of God, the Virgin Mary was unique, and her part in creation was indispensable.

God the Father gave her to us, she gave us the Son, and she gave herself to the Holy Spirit. She gladdens the hearts of her children because she is so loving and has such a maternal heart.

Like the Virgin, however, we also mean something to God, and we have our little part to play in the universe, and each of us in a certain sense is indispensable; each of us is unique.

And perhaps the thought of our Mother in Heaven and her life on earth may help us to emulate her and try to be what she was, the most cooperative of God's creatures that has ever existed.

We must always keep in mind that our life, if it has any purpose at all, derives this purpose from God and from the small part we have to play in creation, the purpose for which we have been created and appropriately gifted.

We know little, it is true, about the life of our Lady, but really, it is not necessary to know much more. Full of grace from the first instant of her conception, the life of the Virgin Mary is both unique and exemplary. There is indeed no other model than Jesus Christ, but it is also true that there has never been any other creature who imitated Him so faithfully and who so exactly reproduced the image of her Son. And if God did not want to give us the Word directly, but by means of the Virgin, surely the best way to imitate Christ is to imitate our Lady.

“We would like to offer our Mother a token of affection, though only the gift of a poor, colorless flower, without fragrance. But she accepts it, she receives it affectionately because she is our Mother, and what a Mother!"

“Mother, today we will feel the gentleness of your hands, the warmth of your Most Sweet Heart, and your protection. And despite the realization that we haven't been good sons, we dare to say: Show us that you are our Mother! Make us be good sons. You who are the Mother of Fair Love, Seat of Wisdom, Handmaid of the Lord: Help your children.”

Sep 7 Sun - Am I following Jesus?

 

Sep 7 Sun
Am I following Jesus?
The essential condition for true discipleship, demanded by Christ is total dedication, total commitment of oneself to Him. There can be no such person as a half-Christian. “He that is not with me is against me,” He said.

We cannot be for Christ on Sunday and against Him for the remainder of the week. To be His true followers, we must live our Christian life every day and the entire day. Following Christ means making our way to heaven. It is a life-journey. We have a limited time in which to complete this journey. Therefore, we must travel a certain distance each day. 

Jesus’ words do not imply loving our parents less. Rather, He orders us to love the others as we love ourselves and to put down our life for others. If we concern ourselves only with our personal comfort, if we do not care for others, we have no right to be called Christians or to consider ourselves disciples of Christ. It must be a total self-surrender with deeds and in truth, not only by lip service.

Jesus does not ask for “something,” a token, from those who want to follow him. He asks for everything. He must become the center of all the plans and affections of his followers.

“But Jesus does no care for riches, nor for the fruits or the beasts of the earth, nor for the sea or the air, because they all belong to him. He wants something intimate, which we have to give him freely: My son, give me your heart. Do you see? God is not satisfied with sharing. He wants it all. It's not our things He wants. It is ourselves. It is only when we give ourselves that we can offer other gifts to our Lord."

We dedicate ourselves to His service by fulfilling our ordinary duties in a Christian way, and it must be noticed in concrete actions. This is our total commitment to Christ.

The married man or woman who is loyal to his or her life-partner and to the family, if there is one, and who provides diligently and honestly for his own and the family’s spiritual and temporal welfare, and who always does this with the intention of pleasing God, is following Christ and is moving steadily day by day towards heaven.

Christian life entails a radical change of attitude towards material goods: we must work to acquire them, and use them not as if they were an end in themselves, but as a means to serve God.

The Christian way of living demands directing material goods towards a higher goal, not only to us and to remedy the needs of others, but also to contribute to the glory of God.

The Lord expects us to offer Him our gifts, like the Magi: our gold (interior detachment), our incense (charity toward all), and our myrrh (our spirit of sacrifice in the little things).

If only, we fully realize that only Christ can give meaning to our life and fulfill it. 
Lord, you made us for yourself and our heart is restless until it takes rest in you. When we discover this truth, we begin to take good advantage of the time beside the Lord.

Sep 6 Sat - Should I forgive?

 

Sep 6 Sat
Should I forgive?
Pope Leo XIV gives us the answer.

Jesus, during the last supper, offered a morsel to the one who was about to betray him. It was love’s last attempt not to give up.

Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass …  He loved them to the end” (Jn 13:1-2). Till the end: here is the key to understanding Christ’s heart. A love that does not cease in the face of rejection, disappointment, or even ingratitude.

Jesus knew the moment in which his love must pass through the most painful wound, that of betrayal. And instead of withdrawing, accusing, defending himself… He continued to love: He washed the feet, dipped the bread, and offered it.

“It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it.” With this simple and humble gesture, Jesus carried his love into its depths, not because He was ignoring what was happening, but precisely because He saw it clearly. He knew that the freedom of the other, even when it was lost in evil, could still be reached by the light of a meek gesture, because He knew that true forgiveness does not await repentance, but offers itself first, as a free gift, even before it is accepted.

Judas, unfortunately, does not understand. After the morsel, “Satan entered him.” This passage strikes us as if evil, hidden until then, manifested itself after love showed its most defenseless face. And precisely for this reason, that morsel is our salvation: because it tells us that God does everything, absolutely everything, to reach us, even when we reject him.

Here, forgiveness, with its power, manifests the true face of hope. It is not forgetfulness; it is not weakness. It is the ability to set the other free, while loving him to the end. Jesus’ love does not deny the truth of pain, but it does not allow evil to have the last word. This is the mystery Jesus accomplishes for us, in which we, too, are called to participate.

There is always a way to continue to love, even when everything seems irredeemably compromised. To forgive does not mean to deny evil, but to prevent it from generating further evil. It is not to say that nothing has happened, but to do everything possible to ensure that resentment does not determine the future.

When Judas leaves the room, “it was night,” but a light has already begun to shine. And it shines because Christ remains faithful to the end, and so his love is stronger than hatred.

We, too, experience painful and difficult nights. Nights in which someone has hurt or betrayed us. In those moments, the temptation is to close ourselves up, to protect ourselves, and return the blow. But the Lord shows us that one can offer a morsel even to someone who turns their back on us. That we can move forward with dignity, without renouncing love.

Let us ask today for the grace to forgive, even when we do not feel understood, even when we feel abandoned.

Sep 5 Fri - What should I do when I feel alone?

 

Sep 5 Fri
What should I do when I feel alone?
God is at our side. “We are never alone. It's a shame that we Christians forget we are a throne for the Blessed Trinity. I advise you to develop the custom of seeking God in the depths of your heart. This is what it means to have interior life."

St. Josemaría said: Someone may say to me: "Father, I seek him in my soul..., but I don't find anything."

"I would tell that child of mine: perhaps you've had little interior life, or perhaps you've had a lot, but now God wants to test you. Does your soul seem to be an empty cistern? Well, seek God's love! Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually. But do so with the same determination people put into winning a clean human love. Seek God like that, and be sure that everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."

"Where there's no water, what do people do? They build a reservoir, and then carry water to it in buckets, emptying them one by one. When you find it impossible to recollect yourself for prayer, you must prepare yourself by carrying water to the reservoir: by acts of love and reparation, spiritual Communions, invocations to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, to our Lady, St Joseph, and our holy Guardian Angels. All this is the water we bring by dint of our effort."

"We may have to keep doing so for a long time, but if we persevere, the moment will come when we won't need to go in search of water, for a well will have formed. Perhaps at the beginning, the water doesn't rise easily, but it is a well of living water, present in the depths of your soul. You don't know where the water comes from, nor how it collects there, nor when it's going to flow... but you can always drink from it. And if you are persistent, the water in the well rises and rises, until it forms a spring of clear water where you can always quench your thirst, drinking with both hands, with your mouth wide open."

"Do you understand, my children? There's always water available. Each of you, with the help of the triune God hidden in your soul, must never be an empty reservoir, but a well of water that rises until it becomes a spring of marvelous, clear water, the water of love. But you have to put your whole heart into this effort."

“In this life, we will never lack joys or sorrows. But don't forget that if our Lord sends us joy, it is because He loves us; and if He sends us some sorrow, it is to see if we really love him."
“As long as we are wayfarers, we will necessarily have victories and defeats. But we recover our supernatural peace the moment we return to God, the moment we come close to our Lord, fleeing the little consolations which earthly things can offer. People are happy when they really give themselves to God."

Sep 4 Thu - Is the Word of God just a record of past events?

 

Sep 4 Thu
Is the Word of God just a record of past events?

In the Mass, we cannot be satisfied with knowing what God’s love did for men in the past. The word of God, proclaimed by the Church, not only tells us of what happened in times past. It is not something lost in history. It is something that is being accomplished and fulfilled today, here and now, because God continues his work of salvation through the ministry of his Mystical Body.

In the word of God, the divine covenant is announced; in the Eucharist, the new and everlasting covenant is renewed.

With the eyes of our faith, we may now contemplate Jesus of Nazareth in the synagogue proclaiming, “This scripture which I have read in your hearing is today fulfilled” (Lk 4:21).

It is as it sounds. Here and now, the events narrated by the evangelists are accomplished. Every day, God the Father comes to meet his children through Christ. In every Mass, God asks us: Do you love me? Do you want to become my disciple? Do you want to be with me in eternal life? Are you ready to accompany me in the holocaust of the cross?

If we are to grow in the knowledge of the written word of God, we must prepare ourselves by prayer so that we may receive the light that the Holy Spirit is always ready to grant us freely.

God’s word not only announces and communicates a message, but also always produces the effect wanted by Him.

“It is not a matter of just thinking about Jesus, of recalling some scenes of his life. We must be completely involved and play a part in his life. We should follow him as closely as Mary, his Mother did, as closely as the first twelve, the holy women, the crowds that pressed about him. If we do this without holding back, Christ’s words will enter deep into our souls and will change us.”

The word of God must be accepted joyfully as it is proposed for belief by the teaching authority of the Church. We must follow the Magisterium of the Church as a guiding star, for the divine Redeemer has entrusted the safeguarding and the explanation of the written or transmitted word of God to her.

Each Christian must render “obedience to faith” (Rom 16:26), within the one true Church established by Jesus Christ, if they are to understand the word of God rightly.

The word of God is also judgment. After hearing the word of God, we can no longer be the same people as before. Either we allow ourselves to be captivated and transformed by it, or we resist its action, thus despising the hand of God.

It is now time to be attentive to the proclamation of the word, with full piety, telling our Lord with a sincere heart: “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening” (2 Sam 3:10).

Dating advice for young Catholic men

Sep 23 Tue

Dating advice for young Catholic men

 According to my unscientific survey, which I have confirmed with many young Catholic women, here is how you can put yourself ahead of 97 or 98 percent of the rest of the crowd. It comes down to this:

 - Get a job.

- Find a place to stay, separate from your parents.

- Don’t spend all your time playing video games.

- Don’t surf for porn.

- Don’t swear every other word.

- Don’t be a weird fanatic.

- Have some skill, whether it's working out, fixing things, or something similar.

- Be interested in something other than the one thing you think you know something about.

- Be a gentleman.

 

That’s it. Nothing expensive. You don’t need James Bond suits or cars. Being a “player” will not interest these women. You don’t need to be a CEO. But you need to show that you have the discipline to get a job and finish a task. You need to be devoted to something other than yourself. And you need to be courageous, willing to take some risks. When people call and need help, you need to be the one who goes.

 Some of those things may annoy you. “What’s wrong with video games?” Nothing necessarily. Please don’t tell me: “I know a guy who met his wife playing video games!” I do too. One guy. Someone met his wife in a coffee shop. Drinking more coffee won’t necessarily get you a wife either.

 “What’s wrong with swearing? I know women who swear a lot!” Are you dating them?

 “Why do I need a job? If you’re asking me that, don’t continue reading. So too, if you say, “Don’t want kids – ever!”

 Please understand. You live in a culture that has largely left young men and women systematically unprepared for courtship and marriage. That’s tragic. I wish things were different. But you must play the hand you’ve been dealt.

 How about prayer? Do plenty of that.

 But remember, wives don’t show up on your doorstep because you put in an order with Amazon. Courting a good woman is a gift and a task. The task is to earn her trust by becoming a person worthy of that trust. That’s also the gift.

 I expect some people will be annoyed by this advice. I can hear some guys complain: Don’t women need to hear some of these things and get some advice? Perhaps. But that’s not my job. I’m a guy. That is a job for a wise, older woman who can advise younger girls.

 Besides, my one other piece of advice to young men would be this: Don’t try to give advice to young women, and don’t complain about them. This is like when the park ranger tells you not to poke a grizzly bear. It can serve no good purpose. And whatever might make you think it’s a good idea, it’s not.

Excerpts from Randall Smith