May 8 Fri
Have I found what I was looking for?
I was searching for the most lovable person, and I found that he is the greatest; I could not possibly imagine anyone more perfect. I have discovered that he embodies life, light, wisdom, goodness, and eternal happiness. He is everywhere and timeless. I was looking for God.
Let me know you and love you, so that I may find my joy in you.
Lord, my God, you gave me life and restored it when I lost it. As I long for you, tell me what else you are, besides what I have already understood, so that I may see you clearly. I stand on tiptoe to see more, but beyond what I have seen, I see only darkness. Of course, I do not truly see darkness, because there is no darkness in you, but I cannot see further because of my blindness.
Surely, Lord, you dwell in unapproachable light, and no one but you can enter into it and fully embrace you. If I fail to see this light, it is because it is too bright for me. Still, it is by a tiny beam of this light that I see all that I can, just as my weak eyes perceive everything they can by the sun's light but are unable to look directly at the sun.
The light in which you dwell, Lord, is beyond my understanding. It is so brilliant that I cannot bear it; I cannot turn my mind’s eye towards it for any length of time. I am dazzled by its brightness, amazed by its grandeur, overwhelmed by its immensity, and bewildered by its abundance.
O supreme and inaccessible light, O complete and blessed truth, how far you are from me, even though I am so near to you! How remote you are from my sight, even though I am present to yours! You are entirely everywhere, and yet I do not see you; in you I move and have my being, and yet I cannot approach you; you are within me and around me, and yet I do not perceive you.
O God, let me know you and love you so that I may find my joy in you; and if I cannot do so fully in this life, let me at least make some progress every day until I finally come to know, love, and rejoice in you. While I am here on earth, teach me to know you better, so that in heaven I may know you fully; let my love for you deepen here, so that there I may love you completely. On earth, then, I shall have some joy in hoping, and in heaven, complete joy in the fulfillment of my hope.
O Lord, through your Son, you command me, no, you encourage me to ask, and you promise that you will hear me so that my joy may be complete. Lord, send me the Holy Spirit as an adviser. Give me what you promise. You, O God, are faithful; grant that I may receive my request, so that my joy may be complete.
Meanwhile, let this hope of mine be in my thoughts and on my tongue; let my heart be filled with it, my voice speak of it; let my soul hunger for it, my body thirst for it, my whole being yearn for it, until I enter into the joy of the Lord, who is Three in One, blessed forever. Amen.
Excerpts from the "Proslogion" of St Anselm.