Jul 10 Fri
Do I have true friends?
True friends are those who remain by our side through thick and thin.
"Friendship is a rich human reality: a form of reciprocal love between two people built on mutual knowledge and communication." These wise words from Aquinas advise us to get to know each other, interact, and communicate—in short, to step outside ourselves—to forge bonds of friendship.
“You cannot just be passive. You have to become a real friend of your friends by helping them. First, with the example of your behavior, and then with your advice and with the influence that a close friendship provides."
True friendship is loyal and sincere. It is genuine, two-way communication where experiences are shared and we learn from one another. Good communication, shared aspirations, mutual confidences, appreciation, admiration, and respect create strong bonds of friendship that endure despite distance and time.
True friends share joys, dreams, plans, and also sorrows. Friendship is a type of love that flows in both directions and desires the best for the other person, a love that produces unity and happiness. Some classical thinkers pointed out that to be happy, it is necessary to have friends.
One manifestation of friendship is the willingness to help others, out of pure generosity, and without giving up in the face of difficulties. True friends are those who lift you up when others haven’t even noticed you’ve fallen.
Another great manifestation is understanding, which, although not easy, enriches us by allowing us to perceive reality differently from our own and also broadens our perspective. To love others means recognizing them as they are, with their virtues and flaws. We must look at them with affection, without prejudice, seeing the good in each person, and we must relinquish the desire to mold them in our own image.
Friendship involves the free endeavor to discover and desire the good of the other, to make their life more pleasant. Friendships arise between people who strive to be welcoming, kind, patient, cheerful, and so on; all these virtues make living together easy and enjoyable. Friends require time and proper attention, which often demands setting aside our own preferences and comforts.
On the other hand, friendship carries the risk of not being reciprocated, but without fear, one must continue to take risks and seek opportunities where new friendships can arise.
Furthermore, experience shows us that sometimes friends are lost, however, their recovery is always possible if both parties desire it, as Saint Bernard advises: “When you see something wrong in your friend, do not judge him immediately; on the contrary, try to excuse him in your heart; excuse the intention, think that he did it out of ignorance, by surprise, or unfortunately.”
A true friend does not betray; he never speaks ill of his friend, nor allows him to be criticized, nor does he abandon him in times of trouble. True friendship is selfless, for it consists more in giving than in receiving; it does not seek personal gain; it asks for sacrifices, integrity, and the exchange of favors, of noble and lawful services. And, finally, like almost everything in this life, friendship is strengthened in adversity.
From Tomasa Calvo, Exaudi