May 19 Tue
Can a hard sinner repent and begin again?
What happened with Judas? They had paid him thirty shekels of silver for his service, but his pangs of conscience would not leave him in peace.
Learning that Jesus was condemned, he brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. He repeatedly told them that he had handed over innocent blood.
Did Judas know of Peter's denial and his repentance? Maybe not.
Pride, greed, or disordered passions led to such outrageous and evil conduct. In his blindness, Judas did not see that the value of Jesus Christ can only be measured by considering his love for his brethren. No other measure exists.
From this sad event, we can draw a clear lesson: whoever seeks to deceive God draws only a miserable profit, something squalid that brings no consolation and guarantees no security. Those who choose to turn away from God end up being victims of loneliness.
Judas was remorseful but without hope.
He could no longer believe in forgiveness. His remorse turned into despair. Now he saw only himself and his darkness.
He shows us the wrong type of remorse, one unable to hope, that sees only its own darkness, destructive, and inauthentic.
Genuine remorse is marked by the certainty of hope born of faith in the divine power of Jesus.
After receiving the morsel, he immediately went out, and it was night. Judas went out in a deeper sense. He moved from the light into the darkness.
What would he do now? First, he went and threw the coins into the temple.
He regretted what he had done, but he did not go to Jesus, whose soul was on edge, thinking about his disciple. Judas remained alone with his treason and plunged into despair.
It would have been enough if Judas had pulled himself together for a moment, looked at Jesus for an instant, and made some attempt to talk with him. Jesus would have made him a sign, a glance, or a gesture, telling him to start his life as an apostle over again.
But Judas wanted to be left alone, absolutely alone with his guilt. And in his desperation, he went and hanged himself.
What an evil idea you had, Judas! Yet forgiveness would have been yours.
Simple human repentance is not enough. For someone standing close to Christ, true repentance must produce sorrow and joy at the loss of the friendship now recovered.
Peter united himself strongly to the Lord.
Judas had the potential to travel the same road since he did not lack the Lord's help either, but he refused.
What about you and me?
True repentance, or contrition, is a deep sorrow and detestation for the sin committed, accompanied by a resolution to sin no more. One is sorry for the offense caused to God. It should come with a purpose of amendment and the desire to be reconciled with God in the sacrament of Reconciliation.