Sep 23 Wed
Are children assets or liabilities?
We need to help our children understand that they add value to our lives, to our world, and to each other.
I began by asking young boys if they knew the difference between an asset and a liability. One explained that a liability costs you money, and an asset generates money. This set me up to explain that most people today view children as liabilities—something that just costs parents money—which is why there is resistance to having more. But to me, children are an asset.
An asset should not be thought of exclusively in terms of money. A fruit-bearing apple tree is an asset even if you eat the apples rather than sell them. Children produce a lot of joy. A dancing toddler is funny; an older sibling meeting a newborn for the first time is precious.
Beyond joy, children can help out around the house.
Often, we expect children to work and contribute to the household because that is what humans are supposed to do, and this is how anyone learns to be a functioning adult in society.
Thus, we form citizens capable of leading families of their own and being competent in society in ways that coddled young adults are not. Children become assets to a family naturally when they are encouraged to develop skills useful in adulthood.
As they develop practical skills, siblings can help each other, even as adults later in life.
A father with many kids hopes that at least some of them will help him when he's old. That's an actual long-term care plan more reliable than trusting in some insurance company.
The Bible certainly views children as a blessing:
Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord,
Happy is the man who has
his quiver full of them.
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
When I read this verse, I picture an aging but not necessarily old man arguing with a group of degenerates at the edge of his property. He’s confidently telling them to move along because his armed sons are casually standing some distance behind him as backup. The Bible is unequivocal: children are blessings and assets.
Children are also assets to each other. They will be like godparents to other siblings, friends you call for advice, investors in your business, the people you rely on to help you move furniture. Your sibling might be your future lawyer or plumber. This is a practical reason to stay close to and be nice to your siblings. Be careful with your words; you don’t want to say things now that destroy your future relationship.
Today, nepotism has become a bad word; but historically, your family was your network.
Siblings should not be just someone you see at Christmas or (if you are fortunate) share an inheritance with. Your sibling is not someone who deprives you of parental attention or money. They are assets.
St. Teresa of Calcutta commented: “How can there be too many children? That’s like saying there are too many flowers.”
Some excerpts from J.C. Miller