Spousal love, and God's love.
Both the love of God and the love between husband and wife have four shared characteristics:
1. IT IS FREELY GIVEN:
It cannot be bought or bribed, whoever is not free cannot give it. "Only if I am free can I give myself freely," says Christopher West. "Sisters, would you marry a man if you knew he was incapable of saying ‘no’ to his sexual urges? If you can't say 'no,' you're not free. An alcoholic cannot say no to a drink, he is chained. Today, they call ‘sexual freedom’ what is sexual addiction."
2. IT IS TOTAL SURRENDER.
In the marriage vows we say "I accept you and I give myself to you"; in doing so, we exclude any other person and any other lifestyles.
3. IT IS FAITHFUL.
It includes, besides exclusivity, perseverance, accompanying, keeping walking together, resisting together in the face of adversity...
4. IT IS FERTILE, IT BEARS FRUIT.
It is open to children and welcomes them; it is a love that generates life.
"These four characteristics are also those of marriage: free, faithful, fertile, and total. They are the four things you are asked when you get married. So also, is Christ's commitment to the Church. And the sexual act should express that, with your body language. The sexual act is the marriage vows made flesh. I understood that when I was 24 years old reading John Paul II's Theology of the Body. And everything clicked, everything in the Catholic Church about sex made sense then," explains Christopher West.
Christian sexual ethics, like the etiquette of an elegant banquet, is demanding, but it creates beauty and gives life. Christian virtues, like learning to play the piano, or excel in a sport, require learning and effort, but it is worthwhile, and the desire for something good (making music, creating something beautiful and enduring) increases them.
"Jesus does not impose an ethic on you from the outside: he first proposes to you what is real and worthwhile; he first changes your heart, your values, your deepest desires... When the Law is inscribed in our hearts, we are already free from the Law because we have no desire to break it. We are free to live it because it is what our heart desires. We only become angry with the Law when we have a desire to break it. The problem is not the teaching of the Church, but your heart. Instead of trying to debase Christian teaching, let's get down on our knees, and ask the Lord to change our hearts," encourages Christopher West.
And he poses a dream, perhaps not so distant: "What if one day the whole world comes to see that what the Church taught was right? What if the world recognizes that we've been driving like crazy in the wrong direction with the Church saying 'you are driving against the direction, you're going to kill someone'?”
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